Shawnee Love   •  
May 9, 2013

One of the most difficult issues facing new managers is how friendly to be with their employees.  Building a good relationship with your people is pretty critical to having them trust you, respect you, and want to work hard with and for you, but figuring out where to draw the line between friendly and friends is not easy.  The right formula depends very much on your own personal style as well as the culture of the industry and business, so here are some things to think about when finding your friendly place:

• It is hard to discipline or fire a friend.  Not only is it difficult to take those actions, but you can probably kiss the friendship good bye.  That being the case, if you are tasked with making improvements to productivity, then don’t try to be a buddy at work.
• Employees want to work with someone they feel they know and trust and who cares about them and respects them, so you need to approach and be approachable.
• It can be difficult to be objective about a friend.  If there is risk of perceived favourtism (the larger the team, the greater the risk), beware of being too friendly.
• Employees know you are human, but sometimes they forget because you are the company representative to them.
• Your company (and various legislative bodies) will hold you to a higher standard than your employees, particularly when it comes to things like employee safety and security, harassment, what you do outside of work, etc.
• Managers have the greatest influence over their employees perception of the company, so the connection you make with your people becomes their reality of the company (with great power comes great responsibility).

Clear boundaries are important to becoming a successful manager.  Being friendly without crossing the line means:

• Greeting everyone by name as you come in and leave each day (yes you must know their names!),
• Taking time during breaks or when grabbing a coffee to stop and chat with a couple people here and there (and over the course of a week or month ensuring you have connected at least once with everyone),
• Going out after work for a drink (likely paying out of your own pocket), leaving after one and on your way out, reminding your team not to drink and drive and you will see them tomorrow “bright eyed and bushy tailed” (i.e., none the worse for wear).
• Catching people doing something good and Coaching when you see something not so good (no looking the other way and no jumping down their throats either).
• Living and working in a fashion that would make your grandmother proud if it made the newspapers. (Strangely, this seems to make it all clear in my mind, how about you?)

Please reply and share your story about the right mix of friendly.