Shawnee Love   •  
April 4, 2013

One of the expectations managers, particularly new managers, have is that they will be respected.  While in the past, respect according to one’s position or level in the company (positional respect) was granted almost blindly by employees that is not usually the case anymore.  Now managers have to earn respect just like everyone else and frankly anyone at any level can be respected if they prove themselves. If you are struggling with how to earn respect, here are some things to think about:

• To receive respect, you have to give it. I often see new managers trying to do it all in order to prove themselves.  However, today’s employees want to be consulted and included and may have better suggestions than the manager particularly if they are experienced in the job, industry and/or company.  Inclusion and consultation are only a couple aspects of giving respect though.  You must also listen to your employees, care about them and build relationships with them, communicate with them, and value their time and knowledge.
• Respect doesn’t happen overnight.  It takes time and depending upon the collective memory of the people you are managing and how long it takes you to become effective as their manager, it can take a really long time.
• Respect like trust can be destroyed in an instant.  If you do things that make employees feel disrespected (e.g., micromanage, ignore, condescend, yell, gossip, backstab, etc.) you can erase any respect you have earned and poison the well of future respect.   By the way, your behaviour outside of work can affect how much respect you get at work as well, so be aware of how your actions and communications on your own time would be perceived by your team.
• Communicating and acting respectfully must be practised.  Look around at people who are respected and you may assume they were born that way or got lucky, but that is far from the truth.  People who are respected started practising at being respectful long ago so that it is second nature now.  While it is tough to hear that you have to work at it, the fact that it is possible learn means anyone can do it, especially you!  Ask people that know you well (and you trust) if there are any things you do that could be perceived as disrespectful (e.g., reflexive eye rolling, finishing people’s sentences, not making eye contact, interrupting, exaggerating, issuing orders, never saying thanks, bullying- the list could go on and on).  When you find something you do that isn’t respectful, define how you could do it respectfully and then practice until it becomes a habit.  Sometimes it helps to engage those people you trust in giving you feedback on how you are doing or identifying when you regress (in private of course).

Do you have any further comments on gaining respect in the workplace?  We’d love to hear them.